My lowest day... yay for a great wife

I'm over here, and I'm supported by a hugely supportive team and I'm in pain...a lot of pain...head, bowel, stomach are all at war, no energy, even looking at a beautiful lunch meal is sending me to the toilet...and I had a self pity moment!

When I have self pity:), its rare... so I'm letting off steam to Jo about why the naturopath isn't sorting out a cure for me quicker...I must admit they have been good to me, making a lot more time for me than others...
Jo looks at me, wise lady she is, and says these lovely words - "You've been in the health system for ten years, has anyone ever told you what's wrong, they just medicate the symptoms.".... quietly, gently as she usually does... and that was that:) self pity shelved deep down:)
Love my Wife!

So back to the start of the day...smoothy for breakfast, after a bad night.

I visited a guy who I swear has a gift. He can look at you and all he sees is bone and muscle and how each of them is connected and related. He has worked on me twice and managed to take a way some long standing lower back issues...yay...and has now begun to work on my stomach and head...looking to see if he can bring some respite. He is expensive to go to...and is fully booked till Sept 2016 but I'd plan a holiday around his special ability.

Then a had a facial...yes a facial, not a fan, didn't feel comfortable about the idea. However the radiation left two patches of irritable skin on either side of my head. I was pleased by the fact that my friendly therapist John who after 2 colonics, a massage and a claywrap, 2nd on my all time list of awkward I'm almost naked and you need to treat me again people, did not to my facial!
It was ok, but not likely to go there again!

Then things got worse... sick after steam room, sick after lunch and slept all afternoon, except for more visits to the toilet!

Tonight we had a lecture again on looking at life properly

What is my goal in life?
I think I would answer that by being the best person/husband/father/elder/teacher/friend...that I can be in Christ... in fact "best" is the wrong word, I think I mean "sincere" ... I want to be the most sincere person/husband/father/elder teacher & friend that I can be in Christ... if you get all that.
 This will different for everyone I know.
But I have had a lot of time thinking about the fact that I can't give up on my health for the sake of my wife & children... I want to be old and active, and be a role model they can be proud of! This is probably one of my lowest self areas at the moment...easy to not have the energy to be with them...

This is all a work in progress...

A good quote today;
Don't live in the past, that can cause depression.
Don't live in the future, that can cause anxiety
Treat today like its a gift, that's why we call it the present!

Guilt and shame are no way to change a behaviour.